Today at work I got a phone call from my brother, Tim. The news: my mother found my dad unconscious on his bathroom floor. As I listened to him telling me that our sister called him as she was following the ambulance to the hospital, I felt as though my own heart had stopped beating.
Thankfully, Daddy began to come around as my mother frantically kept talking to him until the ambulance got there. By 1:00 this afternoon, he was stabilized, and extensive testing was well underway. The good news is that there is no sign of stroke or pneumonia. We haven't really been told anything about his heart yet, however. What they know so far is that he was severely dehydrated, electrolytes are all out of whack, potassium is very low, and his kidney function numbers were "not good". They've given him potassium, are pumping him with IV fluids, and he got to eat dinner this evening. They're doing other things but mama was so tired I didn't want to keep her on the phone when we talked. Daddy got on the phone for just a couple of minutes. He sounded utterly exhausted. It broke my heart......
My Dad has always been the strongest man I know--inside AND out. He knows what he wants, what he thinks and believes, and he isn't the least bit afraid to tell whoever happens to be within earshot. He is as strong-willed as any human being I've ever met....he can be pretty tough. But he also has a tender side that has mellowed in his senior years. Dad is also a master story-teller, and can be hysterically funny! I still love to hear him tell true stories of family, friends and acquaintances he's known through the years. He has quite a knack for entertaining!! This is the man who, at his 80th birthday party, shared some of his "material" and according to reports later, there were those who thought he was quite a comedy act! Only my dad.......
Mama told me that when she found him, his skin was completely white--pastey gray. My sister said his skin was as white as his hair. His eyes were open and, according to my mother, "set" in place and not moving at all. She thought for sure he was already gone. She fell apart, they tell me.....and oh, how I wish we weren't so far away from each other.
Tomorrow Dad's regular cardiologist will be in to talk with him. His name is "Dr. Payne"---seriously, it is...hahaha....but he knows his field, and he's been really good to my dad. I am anxious to see what he has to say. Could be that I'll fly down for a couple of days....kind of waiting to see what transpires.
Our family is very close, and we are believers in the power of prayer, and the God Who answers. My sister said Daddy looked so much better this evening, and that there is not a doubt in her mind that God had His hand on our daddy. I, too, believe God breathed on Dad today.
Mama said she thought at first that he was already gone. She fell apart. I don't know that there is anything or anybody that can "prepare" us for the loss of a dear loved one. One thing I do know: God is faithful to keep His promises. He will also keep my Dad.
Stay in and stay warm & safe,
Joyce
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
God Bless the Children....
Like many of you, today was my first day back to work since the holidays. I work in a doctor's office. Generally speaking, it is fun to meet people who come in for eye exams and new glasses. Many of our patients have been coming to our office for several years, and that being the case, we often develop nice relationships. My favorite patients are the kids. Kids tend to come back to us more often because they are....well....kids! Usually they're needing glasses adjusted or repaired--sometimes even replaced--simply because kids are not always as careful with their glasses as their adult counterparts.
Last year I met a little girl and her dad. We'll call her Bethany (not her real name). Bethany is being raised by her dad, who happens to work in the state penal system. My first encounter with Bethany and her dad made me so angry I had to go to the break room to pull myself together. "The Dad" was so incredibly sharp and mean with his child that I wanted to slug him. Bethany couldn't breathe without a flurry of criticisms from the man who is responsible for her constant care. While I don't doubt that this little girl can be a handful, I have a fear that "The Dad" is constantly roughing her up verbally and emotionally because of his anger at her mother. I don't know who or where her mother is. But Bethany carries a certain look in her eyes that breaks my heart--like she's doing everything as right as she possibly can, hoping that sooner or later she will finally win her daddy's approval and acceptance of the person she is in this world!
From that first meeting, we've seen Bethany on several occasions for various repairs and adjustments. Each time, I've held my breathe and gritted my teeth. Each time, I continue to have a sense of forboding for this child's safety. What if he is hitting her? What if he bullies her in the privacy of their home, simply because he can?
Today "The Dad" called in to change Bethany's 4:00 appointment to another date. He said she had a "sledding accident" which left her with "an injured hand and a pretty banged up face". I did my best to encourage "The Dad" to go ahead and bring her in, but he decided he needed to reschedule it "because she says she doesn't 'feel up to coming in'." In the background, I could hear her protests at not keeping the appointment. And for some reason, I am afraid she didn't even have a sledding accident. Rather, I would not be at all surprised if that little girl is hiding a very serious secret......and my heart aches for her.
She is only one child of millions on this earth who are living in dysfunctional home situations (and I am not referring to the fact that "The Dad" is a single parent. I am speaking with regard to the incredibly strict and harsh manner that he has with this child.) But that one little girl grips my heart each and every time I see her. If it were in my power to make it happen, she would be in a loving home with two parents who loved each other, God, and her with utter abandon. She wouldn't have that look in her eyes that makes me want to wrap my arms around her and tell her how precious, how beautiful, and how bright she is. The thing that I cannot wrap my mind around is that there are "Bethanys" by the score all around the world.
Because I have never seen a mark on her, I have not contacted Child Protective Services. It isn't because I haven't wanted to--believe me, I have desperately wanted to call them. But, she is always clean, is of a healthy weight, gets yearly eye exams, and attends private school. I pray that "The Dad" is only an overly-strict and overwhelmed parent who is doing his very best to raise this child alone. Oh, how I pray that is the case. To call CPS just because "I have a feeling" , or because I don't agree with how "The Dad" speaks to his child would have no impact. But trust me, if EVER I see the signs of physical abuse, I will be on the phone in a hot New York minute!!
Dear God....bless this little girl and all the others like her! Bless the ones who have been mistreated on any and all levels.....and Lord.......reveal Yourself to each one......bless the children!!
Prayerfully,
Joyce
Last year I met a little girl and her dad. We'll call her Bethany (not her real name). Bethany is being raised by her dad, who happens to work in the state penal system. My first encounter with Bethany and her dad made me so angry I had to go to the break room to pull myself together. "The Dad" was so incredibly sharp and mean with his child that I wanted to slug him. Bethany couldn't breathe without a flurry of criticisms from the man who is responsible for her constant care. While I don't doubt that this little girl can be a handful, I have a fear that "The Dad" is constantly roughing her up verbally and emotionally because of his anger at her mother. I don't know who or where her mother is. But Bethany carries a certain look in her eyes that breaks my heart--like she's doing everything as right as she possibly can, hoping that sooner or later she will finally win her daddy's approval and acceptance of the person she is in this world!
From that first meeting, we've seen Bethany on several occasions for various repairs and adjustments. Each time, I've held my breathe and gritted my teeth. Each time, I continue to have a sense of forboding for this child's safety. What if he is hitting her? What if he bullies her in the privacy of their home, simply because he can?
Today "The Dad" called in to change Bethany's 4:00 appointment to another date. He said she had a "sledding accident" which left her with "an injured hand and a pretty banged up face". I did my best to encourage "The Dad" to go ahead and bring her in, but he decided he needed to reschedule it "because she says she doesn't 'feel up to coming in'." In the background, I could hear her protests at not keeping the appointment. And for some reason, I am afraid she didn't even have a sledding accident. Rather, I would not be at all surprised if that little girl is hiding a very serious secret......and my heart aches for her.
She is only one child of millions on this earth who are living in dysfunctional home situations (and I am not referring to the fact that "The Dad" is a single parent. I am speaking with regard to the incredibly strict and harsh manner that he has with this child.) But that one little girl grips my heart each and every time I see her. If it were in my power to make it happen, she would be in a loving home with two parents who loved each other, God, and her with utter abandon. She wouldn't have that look in her eyes that makes me want to wrap my arms around her and tell her how precious, how beautiful, and how bright she is. The thing that I cannot wrap my mind around is that there are "Bethanys" by the score all around the world.
Because I have never seen a mark on her, I have not contacted Child Protective Services. It isn't because I haven't wanted to--believe me, I have desperately wanted to call them. But, she is always clean, is of a healthy weight, gets yearly eye exams, and attends private school. I pray that "The Dad" is only an overly-strict and overwhelmed parent who is doing his very best to raise this child alone. Oh, how I pray that is the case. To call CPS just because "I have a feeling" , or because I don't agree with how "The Dad" speaks to his child would have no impact. But trust me, if EVER I see the signs of physical abuse, I will be on the phone in a hot New York minute!!
Dear God....bless this little girl and all the others like her! Bless the ones who have been mistreated on any and all levels.....and Lord.......reveal Yourself to each one......bless the children!!
Prayerfully,
Joyce
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Living Into A New Decade....
Hello, I'm Joyce!
Glad you stopped by to check out my blog. This is a new venture for me, so buckle up and ride along with me, OK?
Today is the second day of 2010. I still can't believe it's another new year. This last year wasn't one that I would want to repeat by any means. But I have high hopes for this year we've begun. Sure, we say that about every new year, don't we? But I really do have high hopes on a personal level. Last year I became very ill and ended up in a major hospital in Ohio for 10 days, and had surgery before it was over. The fear of the unknown for most of that time was worse than the surgery itself. I am profusely grateful that the outcome was good. God isn't done with me...and that is what fuels my high hopes for this new year.
Over the last decade, I've spent a whole lot of time in various stages of a healing process. Emotional healing seems to take a lot longer and a whole lot more energy than physical healing. I don't know that I will ever fully heal from the death of my son, Ryan, in 1999. But I know that I'm finally starting to live my life again. There are still those moments that I miss him so badly that the tears come, but those times are much fewer and farther between as time goes on. I suppose there are those who would say I should have "been over it by now". Those people obviously have never lost a 20 year old son. I don't think a person ever "gets over" that kind of personal tragedy... you just learn to live life without that one you love. And sometimes it takes a very long time.
Something that has come out of that part of my life is the realization that every single moment is precious. Little things mean much more to me now. And true friends are not a plentiful commodity, but a priceless treasure.
There are other kinds of losses that we have all experienced in life. The loss of relationships with people you have truly cared for will also leave you grieving. However, in the grand scheme of things, one also finds out what true friendship is, and who those people are in reality. It is difficult to learn the hard lesson of misplaced trust; worse yet is learning how to keep an open and pliable heart with other people that you meet. The fear of being hurt again can and will rob you of new and wonderful relationships if you let it. Equally difficult is learning to release those who have judged and misjudged you, based purely on what they have been told and not on the truth. But it is possible, and most necessary if you want to be free to move forward. In the long run, you may limp for awhile, but you will walk again. One day, if you keep choosing forgiveness, you will even run!
As I'm walking out this journey of mine, I am determined to be transparent and genuine. The world is far too full of plastic, shallow individuals who can be manipulated because of emotional need--or they are the ones who are doing the manipulating because it gives them a level of control. My hearts' desire is to be REAL. All the time. Just open and real and genuine. That's the thing that so attracts me to the Person of Jesus Christ: the Gospels show us how truly open and genuine He was. He was able to love and to serve, and He knew Who He was during His time walking this earth as our Example. I am convinced that when we "know who we are", it frees us to be real and genuine, to love and be loved, and--more importantly--to realize that our future cannot be found in the rear view mirror of our lives. " 'I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord...'to do you good and not to harm you; to give you a hope and a future!' " (Jeremiah 29:11)
YES.....I have high hopes for this new year!! And I trust that you do as well!
Blessings,
Joyce
Glad you stopped by to check out my blog. This is a new venture for me, so buckle up and ride along with me, OK?
Today is the second day of 2010. I still can't believe it's another new year. This last year wasn't one that I would want to repeat by any means. But I have high hopes for this year we've begun. Sure, we say that about every new year, don't we? But I really do have high hopes on a personal level. Last year I became very ill and ended up in a major hospital in Ohio for 10 days, and had surgery before it was over. The fear of the unknown for most of that time was worse than the surgery itself. I am profusely grateful that the outcome was good. God isn't done with me...and that is what fuels my high hopes for this new year.
Over the last decade, I've spent a whole lot of time in various stages of a healing process. Emotional healing seems to take a lot longer and a whole lot more energy than physical healing. I don't know that I will ever fully heal from the death of my son, Ryan, in 1999. But I know that I'm finally starting to live my life again. There are still those moments that I miss him so badly that the tears come, but those times are much fewer and farther between as time goes on. I suppose there are those who would say I should have "been over it by now". Those people obviously have never lost a 20 year old son. I don't think a person ever "gets over" that kind of personal tragedy... you just learn to live life without that one you love. And sometimes it takes a very long time.
Something that has come out of that part of my life is the realization that every single moment is precious. Little things mean much more to me now. And true friends are not a plentiful commodity, but a priceless treasure.
There are other kinds of losses that we have all experienced in life. The loss of relationships with people you have truly cared for will also leave you grieving. However, in the grand scheme of things, one also finds out what true friendship is, and who those people are in reality. It is difficult to learn the hard lesson of misplaced trust; worse yet is learning how to keep an open and pliable heart with other people that you meet. The fear of being hurt again can and will rob you of new and wonderful relationships if you let it. Equally difficult is learning to release those who have judged and misjudged you, based purely on what they have been told and not on the truth. But it is possible, and most necessary if you want to be free to move forward. In the long run, you may limp for awhile, but you will walk again. One day, if you keep choosing forgiveness, you will even run!
As I'm walking out this journey of mine, I am determined to be transparent and genuine. The world is far too full of plastic, shallow individuals who can be manipulated because of emotional need--or they are the ones who are doing the manipulating because it gives them a level of control. My hearts' desire is to be REAL. All the time. Just open and real and genuine. That's the thing that so attracts me to the Person of Jesus Christ: the Gospels show us how truly open and genuine He was. He was able to love and to serve, and He knew Who He was during His time walking this earth as our Example. I am convinced that when we "know who we are", it frees us to be real and genuine, to love and be loved, and--more importantly--to realize that our future cannot be found in the rear view mirror of our lives. " 'I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord...'to do you good and not to harm you; to give you a hope and a future!' " (Jeremiah 29:11)
YES.....I have high hopes for this new year!! And I trust that you do as well!
Blessings,
Joyce
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