Living Into A New Decade....

Hello, I'm Joyce!

Glad you stopped by to check out my blog. This is a new venture for me, so buckle up and ride along with me, OK?

Today is the second day of 2010. I still can't believe it's another new year. This last year wasn't one that I would want to repeat by any means. But I have high hopes for this year we've begun. Sure, we say that about every new year, don't we? But I really do have high hopes on a personal level. Last year I became very ill and ended up in a major hospital in Ohio for 10 days, and had surgery before it was over. The fear of the unknown for most of that time was worse than the surgery itself. I am profusely grateful that the outcome was good. God isn't done with me...and that is what fuels my high hopes for this new year.

Over the last decade, I've spent a whole lot of time in various stages of a healing process. Emotional healing seems to take a lot longer and a whole lot more energy than physical healing. I don't know that I will ever fully heal from the death of my son, Ryan, in 1999. But I know that I'm finally starting to live my life again. There are still those moments that I miss him so badly that the tears come, but those times are much fewer and farther between as time goes on. I suppose there are those who would say I should have "been over it by now". Those people obviously have never lost a 20 year old son. I don't think a person ever "gets over" that kind of personal tragedy... you just learn to live life without that one you love. And sometimes it takes a very long time.

Something that has come out of that part of my life is the realization that every single moment is precious. Little things mean much more to me now. And true friends are not a plentiful commodity, but a priceless treasure.

There are other kinds of losses that we have all experienced in life. The loss of relationships with people you have truly cared for will also leave you grieving. However, in the grand scheme of things, one also finds out what true friendship is, and who those people are in reality. It is difficult to learn the hard lesson of misplaced trust; worse yet is learning how to keep an open and pliable heart with other people that you meet. The fear of being hurt again can and will rob you of new and wonderful relationships if you let it. Equally difficult is learning to release those who have judged and misjudged you, based purely on what they have been told and not on the truth. But it is possible, and most necessary if you want to be free to move forward. In the long run, you may limp for awhile, but you will walk again. One day, if you keep choosing forgiveness, you will even run!

As I'm walking out this journey of mine, I am determined to be transparent and genuine. The world is far too full of plastic, shallow individuals who can be manipulated because of emotional need--or they are the ones who are doing the manipulating because it gives them a level of control. My hearts' desire is to be REAL. All the time. Just open and real and genuine. That's the thing that so attracts me to the Person of Jesus Christ: the Gospels show us how truly open and genuine He was. He was able to love and to serve, and He knew Who He was during His time walking this earth as our Example. I am convinced that when we "know who we are", it frees us to be real and genuine, to love and be loved, and--more importantly--to realize that our future cannot be found in the rear view mirror of our lives. " 'I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord...'to do you good and not to harm you; to give you a hope and a future!' " (Jeremiah 29:11)

YES.....I have high hopes for this new year!! And I trust that you do as well!

Blessings,
Joyce